Find and grow the partnership you love.
Gain 6 spiritual, practical principles you can use to find and grow loving partnership — without wasting your time or energy.
Give Yourself to Love
March to May 2020, 30 SPOTS ONLY • 90-day online course
Whether you are single OR in partnership, this course will give you tools, practices, coaching, & community support to clarify your vision, go past your stopping points, and focus your energy on finding and growing the partnership you love.
In this course, you will:
- Find and grow partnership with joy instead of fear or desperation.
- Identify your blind spots and go past your inner stopping points.
- Show up loving even under stress, so you can end the day without regrets.
- Free up space in your life, so you can savor the opportunities for love.
- See when to commit, give it a chance, or move on, without wasting energy.
- Learn your lessons the easy way, so you can cherish more happy memories.
Details
- Where: Online (join anywhere by video or phone)
- When: March 9 - May 25 (every Monday 5-7pm Pacific, replays available)
- Led by: Zo Tobi, PCC • Happy husband, proud papa, + certified coach
- Tuition: Sliding scale, $300-$400/month for 3 months
OR Pay-what-you-can! (this offer is for MLE graduates ONLY)
A roadmap for partnership.
We will meet weekly on Zoom (join by video or phone). For each of the six principles, we will have a training session followed by a group coaching session the following week:
Principle 1: Envision True Partnership
- See what is truly important to you in partnership, so you can set aside any “on-paper criteria” that might be getting in your way.
- Discover your “authentic vision” for partnership, so you can build partnership you truly love.
Principle 2: Get Out of Love’s Way
- Calm your mental chatter around getting hurt or hurting others, worrying “all the good ones are taken,” or thinking you’re unworthy of love.
- Develop a compassionate relationship with your brain, so you no longer need to take all of your thoughts around love and partnership so seriously!
Principle 3: Be the Partner You Seek
- See how to “put yourself out there” in your own unique, authentic (fun!) way — without grasping, forcing, settling, or being someone you’re not.
- Gain a simple set of principles and tools for nurturing intimacy, communicating openly, and doing in partnership what you could not do alone.
Principle 4: Set the Table for Love
- Make yourself fully available for love, so you’re ready for partnership when it comes!
- Arrange your life in a way that allows you to cherish and savor partnership.
Principle 5: Let Love Grow
- See how to answer the question: ‘How do I tell if they’re right for me?’ so you don’t have to worry anymore about making the “wrong” choice.
- Learn to quickly discern when to move on, when to commit, and when to keep nurturing the possibility so you can see what it really is!
Principle 6: Be Love’s Student
- See how to sustain the principles you learn in this course as a lifelong practice, instead of a one-off experience.
- Develop your capacity to focus your attention on what you’re doing right, instead of dwelling on what you’re doing wrong.
Who this is for
Do-gooders
This is for purpose-driven "do-gooders" who know love is the fuel for building a better world. Organizers, innovators, rabble-rousers, educators, social workers, civic leaders, advocates, and justice-seekers: I’m talking to you!
Single OR in a relationship
Whether you’re IN a relationship or READY for one, this is for you if you want a spiritual, practical approach to being the partner you seek. This is for you if:
- You feel stuck and you’re tired of "just waiting." You know love is important to you and you want to see a way forward — now rather than "someday."
- You're ready for something more fulfilling. You're tired of trying to be someone you’re not, or staying in relationships that aren't a fit for you.
- You're in a new relationship and you want to give it your best shot. You want to start fresh and learn from past mistakes, instead of repeating them.
- You're at a crossroads in your current relationship. You want to get clear whether it's time to go slow, really commit, or move on with grace.
- You're in a great relationship you want to deepen! Things are already going great and you want to keep building, learning, and growing together. YAY!
Folks of all backgrounds
I'm a hetero monogamous married light-brown Jewish dude, but this stuff is universal. The principles apply across age, race, class, culture, gender, ability, sexuality, and relationship type. That's why I love this course so much.
This is not for you right now if:
- You’re pretty much comfortable with where you are at the moment.
- You’re not interested right now in being in a committed relationship.
- You’re not in a place to be investing time or energy in your growth.
- You need to focus more fully on healing, before you can really look ahead.
“Do I need healing first?”
You’ll know you’re ready for the course NOW if:
- Look ahead at what’s next for you in love and partnership.
- Examine and shift the way you see and do things, even when doing so might bring up some discomfort.
- Focus on finding and growing partnership for the purpose of contributing to your partner.
It's probably NOT for you right now if you are:
- Unable to look ahead, because you are really consumed by painful memories from the past.
- Unable to examine your way of seeing and doing things, because it’s currently too painful.
- Focused on using partnership to “fill a hole” in your life.
Why people join:
- “I feel ready to let go of my stories and self limiting beliefs about love.”
- “To gain support in my relationship with myself and my relationship with my partner, improve my communication skills and capacity to show up for myself and for them.”
- “I want strategies to find/grow a healthy romantic relationship, without feeling hopeless about it all.”
- “Wanting support in creating an authentic, deep relationship that supports the unfoldment, blossoming, flourishing and thriving of both partners on all levels.”
- “I want to shine a light on all of the ways I get in my own way regarding this deep desire I have for my love life.”
- “I’m in the middle of breaking 10-year-old relationship patterns and getting new awareness about what I am looking for.”
- “I am at crossroads/breaking point in my 5yr partnership. I would like to learn how to attract/cultivate a partnership with an equal, where we can both grow, share passion and inspire each other.”
- “I’m confident you’re not going to tell me how to do this, but rather guide me to my own answers, and that feels like something I’d love more of — self-trust without worrying what other people think!”
Why this, why now?
^ that's me on the left, my wife Kelly on the right, and our daughter Ayla in the middle!
Zo Tobi, PCC
Happy Husband, Proud Papa,
+ Professional Certified Coach
A life of love is a life without regrets.
I’m an activist, organizer, musician, and professional coach. My mission is to help people live a life they can be proud of. A life without regrets. A life of purpose. A life of service to the community. A life in which you have found, as Mary Oliver puts it, “your place in the family of things.”
I never planned to be a “Love Coach”. But as I’ve seen what love has done to me in my own life, I’ve realized this is a part of my calling.
There’s no “one right way to love.” Love shows up differently for everybody. Whomever you love or want to love, and however you love them or want to love them, here’s what’s simply true about love:
1. Love calls out our greatness.
When we struggle with love, we struggle to bring our best to life.
When it comes to finding and nurturing our most important relationships, love calls forth every bit of courage we have. Love is a “hero’s journey” if there ever were one. Being willing to say “Yes” to love is one of the most courageous things any of us can do — and when we do, it ripples out into every other area of our lives.
2. Love shapes us when we let it.
When we struggle with love, we miss out on our own growth.
When we say “Yes” to love and devote ourselves to partnership, it draws out in us new capacities we may not have ever known we had. Our hearts expand. Our capacity for compassion grows. We discover a new ability to go beyond our own narrow self-interest. Yet, in all of this, we do not “lose” ourselves — instead, we actually become more of who we truly are and always have been.
3. Love propels us to do good.
When we struggle with love, it saps our power to make a difference.
Whether you want to be a great family member, a contributor to your community, a visionary leader, a successful entrepreneur, or an effective agent of change, your true power is in your capacity to love. As bell hooks said: “The transformative power of love is the foundation for all meaningful social change.” As a leader and organizer, I firmly believe that, with love at the center of our actions, we can create a world in which everyone is supported and no one is left out. And when we practice love in our closest relationships, we cannot help but to bring love to everything else we do.
4. A life of love is a life well-lived.
When we struggle with love, we sense there must be more to life.
When you love someone — when you truly devote yourself to them — you see them for the totality of their life journey, and you are present to the incredible blessing to accompany them through this journey. Traditional wedding vows talk about being together “for richer and for poorer… in sickness and in health.” To love in this way is to know the gift and the privilege of being with another person unconditionally. As far as I’m concerned, a life lived in this way is a life well-lived.
These are the gifts my relationship to Kelly has given me… and it's the kind of love I want for you.
Kelly and I have had good times and tough times just like many couples… but with the help of so many mentors and teachers, we’ve gone through those ups and downs together, and our relationship is truly the greatest blessing in my life.
Throughout all these years, both with my friends and also as a professional coach, I’ve gotten to support hundreds of people in the area of love and partnership.
At the encouragement of my clients and friends, I’ve distilled what I’ve learned and taught others into an easy-to-follow, step-by-step course you can use — right alongside the most empowering community you can imagine — to find and grow the partnership you love.
If this speaks to you, I hope you join us! 
See you there,
Zo Tobi,
Happy Husband + Professional Certified Coach
p.s. – That’s my wife and me in the photo above. 
While we are a heterosexual, cis-gendered, monogamous couple, what I’ll share will apply to any gender, sexual orientation, and relationship type.
p.p.s. – The program title came to me as I was contemplating what it’s really about at the heart of it. Immediately, I thought of one of my favorite songs: the timeless “Give Yourself to Love” by American folk songwriter, Kate Wolf. Listen and weep!
What’s Included
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3 months of steady support
Long enough to sink in, short enough to be doable.
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Real-time by video or phone (+ replays!)
We’ll use the phone-friendly Zoom video platform.
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Easy homework & daily practices
Simple tools & practices — not too much, not too little.
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6 training sessions
One principle per session, with ample time for Q&A.
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6 group coaching sessions
Get coached, and benefit from others being coached too.
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Unlimited personalized support
Ask anything, anytime via email, text, or Facebook Group.
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Incredibly supportive community
These are “your people”: kind, loving, eager to learn!
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1-on-1 "Study Buddy" (optional)
Pair up with a fellow student for more ongoing support.
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Lifetime access to course materials
Slides, PDFs, video & audio recordings, and assignments.
About the course leader
Zo Tobi, PCC
Happy husband, proud papa, + certified coach
Hi! I'm Zo. I'm a musician, teacher, and coach. My mission is to help you live a life you are proud of.
Coaching is as powerful as psychotherapy, yet anyone can call themselves a “coach." It’s important to find someone well-trained and credentialed.
- Coach certification: Academy for Coaching Excellence, a rigorous school accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF)
- Coach credential: Professional Certified Coach (PCC) through ICF
- Coaching experience:
- 2,000+ professional coaching hours since 2010
- Coached 200+ leaders (including 64% women + non-binary folks)
- Worked with leaders at every level & stage, from organizers to managers, directors, executives, founders, funders, & board chairs
- Experienced in & sensitive to the unique challenges of BIPOC, LGBTQ+, & other marginalized groups
- Trainer & mentor experience
- 2013-2019: On faculty with the Academy for Coaching Excellence as a Course Leader, Licensed Trainer, and Mentor Coach
- Have led or co-led 45+ in-person 4-day leadership & coaching skills trainings (1,200+ training hours total) since 2013
- Mentored 30+ professional coaches through a rigorous 1-2 year training & certification process
- Have developed and delivered dozens of grassroots organizing and campaign strategy trainings since 2007
Dates & Times
What's the time commitment?
The course is 3 months long, with sessions each Monday and VERY light, optional "homework" exercises in between, ranging from 5 minutes to an hour.
What if I can't join the sessions live?
No worries. 🙂 I've designed this with the busy person in mind. You get all the replays and materials in 48 hours (or less) so you can go at your own pace, plus unlimited Q&A and cohort interaction in the private Facebook Group. I can also answer any sensitive questions by email if you ever prefer that.
You'll love the replays. Participants have said watching the coaching sessions is like "getting coached yourself," since what we go through is so universal.
All sessions are Mondays 5-7pm Pacific:
Principle 1: Envision True Partnership
- March 9 – Training Session
- March 16 – Coaching Session
Principle 2: Get Out of Love’s Way
- March 23 – Training Session
- March 30 – Coaching Session
Principle 3: Be the Partner You Seek
- April 6 – Training Session
- April 13 – Coaching Session
Principle 4: Set the Table for Love
- April 20 – Training Session
- April 27 – Coaching Session
Principle 5: Let Love Grow
- May 4 – Training Session
- May 11 – Coaching Session
Principle 6: Be Love’s Student
- May 18 – Training Session
- May 25 – Coaching Session
March 6 deadline: Join now!
Sliding scale
3 monthly payments
(choose the level that's a stretch but not a hardship for you)
- $400/month if you are financially comfortable
- $350/month if you are financially stable
- $300/month if you are financially stretched
OR pay-what-you-can! This offer is for MLE graduates ONLY. Contact me and I'll welcome you at a price that is a stretch but not a hardship.
30 spots only — join now:
- Choose your tier from the dropdown.
- Click the "Buy Now" button.
- Make your payment in the new PayPal window.
- You're in! You'll get a confirmation email and go to a course info page with next steps.
Partner discount
Want to take the course with a partner? Sign up, contact me, and get 50% off for your partner!
Refund policy
No refunds, other than emergencies (major illness, death in the family, etc). We have limited spots, so only join if this is the right course at the right time for you.
Contact me
Share your thoughts and I will respond promptly!
