Give Yourself to Love
A love & partnership course for progressives & changemakers

Whether you’re single or in relationship, this pay-what-you-can online course will give you a spiritual, practical approach to finding & growing partnership you love — so you can tag-team the world together. APPLY NOW »

  • May – December 2019 (all dates below)
  • Mondays 5-7pm Pacific, starting May 6, 2019 (replays available)
  • Pay-what-you-can: If this is for you, come on in!
  • Led by: Zo Tobi, Happy Husband + Professional Certified Coach


Why I lead this course

Zo Tobi, PCC
Happy Husband
Professional Certified Coach

I want to help you find and grow the partnership you love, so you can tag-team the world together.

I’m an activist, organizer, musician, and professional coach. My mission is to help folks live the life they can be proud of: A life without regrets. A life of purpose. A life of service to the community. A life in which you have found, as Mary Oliver puts it, “your place in the family of things.”

It was never my plan to become a “Love Coach”. But as I’ve seen what love has done to me in my own life, I’ve realized this is a part of my calling.

There’s no “one right way to love.” Love shows up differently for everybody. Whomever you love or want to love, and however you love them or want to love them, here’s what’s simply true about love:

1. Love calls out our greatness.

When we struggle with love, we struggle to bring our best to life.

When it comes to finding and nurturing our most important relationships, love calls forth every bit of courage we have. Love is a “hero’s journey” if there ever were one. Being willing to say “Yes” to love is one of the most courageous things any of us can do — and when we do, it ripples out into every other area of our lives.

2. Love shapes us when we let it.

When we struggle with love, we miss out on our own growth.

When we say “Yes” to love and devote ourselves to partnership, it draws out in us new capacities we may not have ever known we had. Our hearts expand. Our capacity for compassion grows. We discover a new ability to go beyond our own narrow self-interest. Yet, in all of this, we do not “lose” ourselves — instead, we actually become more of who we truly are and always have been.

3. Love propels us to do good.

When we struggle with love, it saps our power to make a difference.

Whether you want to be a great family member, a contributor to your community, a visionary leader, a successful entrepreneur, or an effective agent of change, your true power is in your capacity to love. As bell hooks said: “The transformative power of love is the foundation for all meaningful social change.” As a leader and organizer, I firmly believe that, with love at the center of our actions, we can create a world in which everyone is supported and no one is left out. And when we practice love in our closest relationships, we cannot help but to bring love to everything else we do.

4. A life of love is a life well-lived.

When we struggle with love, we sense there must be more to life.

When you love someone — when you truly devote yourself to them — you see them for the totality of their life journey, and you are present to the incredible blessing to accompany them through this journey. Traditional wedding vows talk about being together “for richer and for poorer… in sickness and in health.” To love in this way is to know the gift and the privilege of being with another person unconditionally. As far as I’m concerned, a life lived in this way is a life well-lived.

These are the gifts of love that my relationship to my wife, Kelly, has given me… and this is the kind of love I want you to have.

Kelly and I have had good times and tough times just like many couples… but with the help of so many mentors and teachers, we’ve gone through those ups and downs together, and our relationship is truly the greatest blessing in my life.

Throughout all these years, both with my friends and also as a professional coach, I’ve gotten to support hundreds of people in the area of love and partnership.

At the encouragement of my clients and friends, I’ve distilled what I’ve learned and taught others into an easy-to-follow, step-by-step course you can use — to find and grow the partnership you love.

I can hardly contain myself — this program is going to be such a blast! 😀

See you there,

Zo Tobi,
Happy Husband + Professional Certified Coach

p.s. – That’s my wife and me in the photo above! 🙂 While we are a heterosexual, cis-gendered, monogamous couple, what I’ll share will apply to any gender, sexual orientation, and relationship type.

p.p.s. – The program title came to me as I was contemplating what it’s really about at the heart of it. Immediately, I thought of one of my favorite songs: the timeless “Give Yourself to Love” by American folk songwriter, Kate Wolf. Listen and weep!

What You’ll Get

This course will NOT magically “manifest” the partnership of your dreams. 🙂 But it will help you take action to prepare for it, find it, and deepen it.

Think of it like this: This course helps you actually put into practice what you might already know, but aren’t consistently doing.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this course will give you support, tools, and practices to:

  • Approach partnership with joy instead of fear or desperation, both in finding and growing the partnership you love.

  • Spot and go past your blind spots and inner stopping points, so you can tap into the immense love you have inside you.

  • Show up as the loving partner you want to be, so that you can end each day knowing you truly made someone’s life wonderful.

  • Give love the space in your life that it needs, so you can savor the precious opportunities you might have otherwise missed.

  • Nurture a relationship or end it with grace, by seeing when to say “Yes,” when to keep exploring, and when to set someone free.

  • Learn fewer relationship lessons “the hard way,” so you can create and cherish more proud moments and happy memories.

AND, you’ll be a part of an incredible community of peers, all supporting each other to be successful.

What You’ll Learn

We’ll meet on Zoom (join by phone or video) for six real-time modules (nothing pre-recorded!) together:

Principle 1: Envision True Partnership

    • See what is truly important to you in partnership, so you can set aside any “on-paper criteria” that might be getting in your way.
    • Discover your “authentic vision” for partnership, so you can build partnership you truly love.

    Principle 2: Get Out of Love’s Way

      • Calm your mental chatter around getting hurt or hurting others, worrying “all the good ones are taken,” or thinking you’re unworthy of love.
      • Develop a compassionate relationship with your brain, so you no longer need to take all of your thoughts around love and partnership so seriously!

      Principle 3: Be the Partner You Seek

        • See how to “put yourself out there” in your own unique, authentic (fun!) way — without grasping, forcing, settling, or being someone you’re not.
        • Gain a simple set of principles and tools for nurturing intimacy, communicating openly, and doing in partnership what you could not do alone.

        Principle 4: Set the Table for Love

          • Make yourself fully available for love, so you’re ready for partnership when it comes!
          • Arrange your life in a way that allows you to cherish and savor partnership.

          Principle 5: Let Love Grow

            • See how to answer the question: ‘How do I tell if they’re right for me?’ so you don’t have to worry anymore about making the “wrong” choice.
            • Learn to quickly discern when to move on, when to commit, and when to keep nurturing the possibility so you can see what it really is!

              Principle 6: Be Love’s Student

                • See how to sustain the principles you learn in this course as a lifelong practice, instead of a one-off experience.
                • Develop your capacity to focus your attention on what you’re doing right, instead of dwelling on what you’re doing wrong.

                What’s Included

                • 6 months of steady support

                  Short enough to be doable, long enough for results.

                • Real-time by video or phone (+ replays!)

                  We’ll use the phone-friendly Zoom video platform.

                • Easy homework & daily practices

                  Simple tools & practices — not too much, not too little.

                • 6 training sessions

                  One principle per session, with ample time for Q&A.

                • 12 group coaching sessions

                  Get coached, and benefit from others being coached too.

                • Unlimited personalized support

                  Ask anything, anytime via email, text, or Facebook Group.

                • Incredibly supportive community

                  These are “your people”: kind, loving, eager to learn!

                • 1-on-1 "Study Buddy" (optional)

                  Pair up with a fellow student for more ongoing support.

                • Lifetime access to course materials

                  Slides, PDFs, video & audio recordings, and assignments.

                Reviews from Graduates

                “I’ve fallen in love with the world. This course has opened my heart in ways I never thought possible.”Laura Lee
                “I now see myself as someone truly “going for” love. I’m asking people out instead of talking myself out of it. I’m not “waiting for a partner” before doing things I love… I’m doing them now, because that’s the person I’d want my partner to meet. If I could send one message to my future partner, it would be: take this course.”Jeremy Blanchard
                “This course has helped me enjoy dating; say goodbye with grace to relationships that weren’t a fit; and say “yes!” to budding romance even when it scares me. This course creates real results — and it’s actually FUN.”Lizzy Fox
                “In terms of “before & after,” I barely recognize myself. I’ve become less whiny, defensive, and selfish, and more loving, present, and supportive. It’s helped me learn from my partner, rather than taking everything they do as a personal affront. This course is the shit. I wish everybody I know would do it.”Josh Van Vliet
                “I’m SO GRATEFUL for this course! It’s been a life-changer. I’ve been engaging in romantic possibilities and everyday interactions with presence, clarity, and joy. Instead of feeling terrified or defeated, I’m actually EXCITED to find my life partner!”Rachel Fryke
                “This course helped me in crucial moments early in my relationship. I realized I was looking for “deal breakers,” when it was really just the normal “eek” when you really like someone. I loved the blend of principles, coaching, and learning from each other — the group wisdom was remarkable.”Allison Roeser
                Overall Rating

                Training Content

                Group Coaching

                Sense of Community

                “Is this for me?”

                Whether you’re single or in a relationship, this is for you if you’re looking for a spiritual approach to partnership that is all about being the partner you seek.

                This is especially for progressive, purpose-driven folks out to build a better world. Organizers, innovators, rabble-rousers, educators, social workers, civic leaders, advocates, and justice-seekers: I’m talking to you. 🙂

                This stuff is universal. These principles apply across age, race, culture, gender, ability, sexuality, and relationship type.

                This is for you if you’re ready for fulfilling partnership, willing to see your part in creating it, and eager to discover new ways of seeing and doing things. This is for you if:

                • You feel stuck and you’re tired of "just waiting."

                  This is for you if you’ve been afraid of getting hurt or hurting others, worried “all the good ones are taken,” or felt you’re unworthy of love.

                • You're tired of not finding what you want.

                  This is for you if you’re done “forcing it,” trying to be someone you’re not, or “putting yourself out there” with nothing to show for it.

                • You want to bring your best to a new relationship.

                  This is for you if you’re starting a new relationship and you want to bring your best to it, rather than recreating old patterns.

                • Your current relationship is at a crossroads.

                  This is for you if things have got to change — or if you’re feeling unsure whether to move on, stick around, or really commit.

                • You're in a great relationship you want to deepen!

                  This is for you if you’re ready to grow even closer to your partner by nurturing intimacy and making yourself fully available for love.

                This is not for you right now if:

                1. You’re pretty much comfortable with where you are at the moment.
                2. You’re not interested right now in being in a committed relationship.
                3. You’re not in a place to be investing time or energy in your growth.
                4. You need to focus more fully on healing, before you can really look ahead.

                “Am I up for this, or do I need healing first?”

                You’ll know you’re up for the course if you’re willing, ready, and able to:

                • Look ahead at what’s next for you in love and partnership.
                • Examine and shift the way you see and do things, even when doing so might bring up some discomfort.
                • Focus on finding and growing partnership for the purpose of contributing to your partner.

                The course is probably not the time for you if you are:

                • Unable to look ahead, because you are really consumed by painful memories from the past.
                • Unable to examine your way of seeing and doing things, because it’s currently too painful.
                • Focused on using partnership to “fill a hole” in your heart.

                Why people join:

                • “I feel ready to let go of my stories and self limiting beliefs about love and my worthiness.”

                • “To gain support in my relationship with myself and my relationship with my partner, improve my communication skills and capacity to show up for myself and for them.”

                • “I want strategies to find/grow a healthy romantic relationship, without feeling hopeless about it all.”

                • “Wanting support in creating an authentic, deep relationship that supports the unfoldment, blossoming, flourishing and thriving of both partners on all levels.”

                • “I want to shine a light on all of the ways I get in my own way regarding this deep desire I have for my love life.”

                • “I’m in the middle of breaking 10-year-old relationship patterns and getting new awareness about what I am looking for.”

                • “I am at crossroads/breaking point in my 5yr partnership. I would like to learn how to attract/cultivate a partnership with an equal, where we can both grow, share passion and inspire each other.”

                • “I’m confident you’re not going to tell me how to do this, but rather guide me to my own answers, and that feels like something I’d love more of — self-trust without worrying what other people think!”

                My Approach

                I have logged over 1,800 hours of professional coaching, and am rigorously trained and certified by the Academy for Coaching Excellence (ACE), an Accredited Coach Training Program through the International Coach Federation (ICF).

                My work is rooted in ontology, the study of being. Ontology looks at what it truly is to be human: The values we live by, the heroic journey we are each here to take, and, ultimately, the gift to others we want to be known for. My approach centers:

                • Universal Wisdom

                  My approach is grounded in principles found across spiritual and secular traditions, from ancient wisdom teachings to the latest research in neuroscience.

                • Pragmatic Principles

                  My approach turns timeless wisdom into an elegant framework of tools and practices for living your values, realizing your vision, and empowering others.

                • Transformational Practices

                  My approach teaches you how to create lasting shifts in the way you see and do things — long after the high of an “aha” moment wears off.

                • Compassionate Support

                  My approach honors the wholeness and dignity of every person, and affirms our capacity to move beyond external obstacles and internal limitations.

                • Social Consciousness

                  At its heart, my approach is designed to empower people to fulfill their unique part in creating a world in which everyone is supported 100% and no one is left out.

                Dates & Time

                All our virtual sessions are in real-time by video or phone, Mondays 5-7pm Pacific.

                We’ll meet weekly for the first three months, and twice a month for the last three months.

                No worries if you can’t join live — you’ll get the replay and materials within 48 hours of each session, and you’ll also get unlimited use of the Facebook Group and text support.

                What’s the time commitment? Joining the sessions or watching the replays, plus 5-60 minutes of very light “homework” every 2 weeks. 🙂

                Part 1: Training

                We’ll meet almost weekly for the first three months, alternating between training and coaching sessions:

                Principle 1: Envision True Partnership
                • May 6 – Training Session
                • May 13 – Coaching Session
                Principle 2: Get Out of Love’s Way
                • May 20 – Training Session
                • May 27 – Coaching Session
                Principle 3: Be the Partner You Seek
                • June 3 – Training Session
                • June 17 – Coaching Session (no class June 10)
                Principle 4: Set the Table for Love
                • June 24 – Training Session
                • July 1 – Coaching Session
                Principle 5: Let Love Grow
                • July 8 – Training Session
                • July 15 – Coaching Session
                Principle 6: Be Love’s Student
                • July 22 – Training Session
                • July 29 – Coaching Session

                Part 2: Integration

                We’ll pause live sessions for August and September, then meet twice a month for group coaching sessions for three more months:

                • October 7
                • October 21
                • November 4
                • November 18
                • December 2
                • December 16


                6 monthly payments at the level that is a stretch but not a hardship:

                • $350/month if you are financially doing well
                • $300/month if you are financially stable
                • $250/month if you are financially getting by

                * You can also save $100 by paying upfront at any tier.

                OR, pay what you can:

                If these tiers would be a true hardship (as in endangering basic needs like food and shelter), choose the monthly amount that would be a stretch but not a hardship, and I’ll gladly welcome you in. Why? Because I want my work to serve everyone 100% with no one left out. Period. 🙂

                “What’s it really worth?”

                You’ll get 36 hours of real-time training and group coaching, plus unlimited support by text, email, and Facebook. I’m a Professionally Certified Coach, with over 1,800 hours of coaching experience. 1-on-1, this would cost between $7,200-$10,800. 

                With the group format, I can offer the course at a fraction that cost — while still earning a livelihood that supports my family.

                “How much should I pay?”

                Pay what you can, no more AND no less. For your sake, I don’t want this to be a hardship for you — AND, I don’t want you to “underpay” in any way that might “leave the door open” for you to disengage or give up on the course.

                For that reason, I suggest reading the sliding scale tiers above, and asking:

                1. “What would be a true ‘stretch’ but not a hardship?”
                2. “What price would rule out any thought in my mind of not engaging 100%?”

                “What if I feel bad about what I’m paying?”

                Pay with joy and keep it simple. 🙂 This is the best way to honor my work! Just make sure it’s really a stretch, and not a hardship. Pay more and help folks join who otherwise couldn’t. OR pay less, knowing you’re giving what you truly can.

                “Can I join for free?”

                No. Financial “skin in the game” — a stretch but not a hardship — supports you to get the most value from the course. If this would put your basic needs at risk, it’s also likely you wouldn’t get value from this course right now.

                Questions? Contact me!

                Refund Policy

                Other than true emergencies, there are no refunds in this course. Why? Because it’s important that you only join if you are clear that this really is the right course at the right time for you.

                I do not guarantee your results. Those are up to you. I DO guarantee that I will give you all that I have to offer… and that if you participate fully, you will get more than your money’s worth.

                Apply now

                1. Choose your monthly payment amount below, and pay your first month now as your deposit.
                2. Submit your application, and you will hear back within 3 business days.
                3. If accepted, your 5 remaining monthly payments will charge automatically, starting 1 month from now (OR: save $100 by opting on the application to pay all upfront).
                4. If your application is not accepted, your deposit will be refunded and there will be no further charges.
                5. There are no refunds for the course (other than for true emergencies). Join only if you are 100% in.

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